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Do parents have favorite children?

Do parents have favorite children?


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All parents deny it. But deep down they know it's true. Are there favorite children? Are they all treated the same? Or do we have a predilection for any of them?

A recent study ensures that no matter how much we parents say, there is always a favorite son. Does this mean that we don't love everyone the same?

It is true that we do not educate all children in the same way. But that's because each child has different needs. Some children like more to be hugged and demand more physical contact. Others, however, prefer their parents' time to kissing. Feeling more affinity for one of the children is something natural, and we know it. But it does not mean that we love some more than others.

The study, prepared by Katherine Conger (Professor of the University of California) say what 70% of mothers have a predilection for one of their children, and that in most cases is usually the largest. That is, seven out of ten mothers make some kind of distinction between their children. This study explains that it is a natural act that has to do with survival, with that instinct that makes parents tend to protect the oldest or healthiest child more.

Many experts support this favorite son theory, adding that it is a natural feeling among parents but that they must hide so that the children never notice it. Otherwise, these inequalities can generate jealousy and negative feelings between siblings.

According to many psychologists, parents prefer the most loving child, the one who shows the most affinity with the tastes of the parents or the easiest to educate, that is, the least rebellious. However, they could also choose the funniest child, the one who excels the most in an activity, or the one who needs the most affection. Whatever it is, it's nothing to punish yourself for. Feelings of love cannot be controlled. You try to love everyone equally, but ...

The problem comes when that predilection is noticed. When children think they know who is the favorite. I recently heard a five-year-old boy say 'I am my parents' favorite, because they have known me for a longer time than my sister, who has just been born'. A nice answer but one that tells us a lot.

The objective: get them not to notice any kind of favoritism, and let each of them think that he is the favorite. Children who think they are not favorites can develop low self-esteem and frustration. Those who believe they are favorites may feel a responsibility that they do not know how to face. To avoid this, just:

- Dedicate the time that each of the children needs,

- Do not make comparisons between them.

- Never respond with the phrase 'I love you all equally', but explain one by one the virtues and what it has and why it is so important to them.

This will make each child feel unique to their parents.

You can read more articles similar to Do parents have favorite children?, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.


Video: Guess my parents favorite child based on our bedrooms (May 2022).